Personal Development Blog

I experienced some hard time lately, and am on the threshold of a new period of my lifespan. I feel I am changing, little by little, losing much and gaining, hopefully, still more.

There is nothing wrong with undergoing severe trials, that is what we in this world must be prepared for any time. The crucial point is our reaction to these.

Do we feel depressed and want to run away? Or do we stand up and fight for our happiness that we deserve? Do we?

I think so. I do not think that life is a struggle and we have to suffer. Actually we ourselves decide whether to suffer or not. And we ourselves are responsible for our success or failure.

What does not kill you makes you stronger is a nice slogan I want to publish today.

There is a famous Russian proverb “Unless Cock Pecks, the Man Does Not Cross Himself”. It means generally that a man is not likely to think ahead of time, and reacts to the circumstances only when they affect him or damage him. “To Trust Russian Perhaps” (in Russian it is ” Avos’ “) implying irresponsible nature of reactive human. If anything bad happens to such a person, everybody is guilty but not him.

Social Mirror

People are likely to refer to three reasons for their wrong behavior, weakness and negative traits in character:

a) They think that how they behave is determined by their ancestors, and they just inherit all the qualities that they have. It is called genetic determinism.

Child camel asks his mother:

- Why do I have so harsh tongue?

- This is to chew desert thorns.

- And what is this awful hump for?

- It keeps food and water for weeks so that your organism could survive in desert.

- And why do we have so thick a skin?

- That is to protect us from sunrays in desert.

- AND WHY DO WE NEED THIS MOLDING HERE, IN ZOO??!!

b) Psychic determinism holds that your upbringing and childhood experiences mold you.

There were a few awful murders committed by one man who was seized and questioned. He said that he lived in a family where his father was always drunk and beat his mother severely, and mother was psychic and was sometimes crazy and used harsh words and physical power for children.

- So what could I do? - said the man in despair, - My childhood made me this kind of man.

Then suddenly journalists got to know that his brother was a successful businessman with happy family, wife and children. When they interviewed him, he said.

- I was raised in this nasty family, and all of them were very unhappy, so my childhood made me think that I do not like a life like that. THAT IS WHY I AM SUCCESSFUL!

c) Environmental determinism holds that environmental factors are responsible.

White beatiful swans decided to go to the south when winter approached. The old black crow asked them to take her with them.

- No, you cannot. You are not a swan! You are just a crow!

- But I am a strong animal. I believe in my strength!

So they flied off together. After a first day the crow was exhausted, and swans told her:

- Do not cheat your nature, crow! You are tired. Quit!

- No, I am a strong animal. I can do it!

After the second day the crow was hardly alive. He was breathing heavily and could not talk well.

- What is the use of this, - swans wanted to persuade her, - you are only a crow!

- No way, - said the crow, - I am a strong animal, - I am capable of this trip.

On the third day they crossed the sea. When they reached the coast, they looked back and could see no crow. They sadly sat on the sand and hung their heads in sorrow… After a couple of hours there appeared the crow, with wings touching the water and tongues out of her beak.

When it fell on the beach, the swans started to applaud:

- You ARE the strong animal, crow! You did it!

- Yes, I am strong animal, guys. I was capable of doing it. Pity that I HAVE NO BRAIN!

1. Understand the Difference between Reactive and Proactive

The difference between reactive and proactive people is about the same as between actors and spectators. In this world there are people who MAKE things happening, and they are proactive people taking responsibility and initiative, there are people who SEE the things happening and those who are just bewildered: WHAT is happening? The key verb is TO ACT. I drew a little chart to explain three types of behavior.

There is a vegetable life that is utterly reactive, and if you do not take action at all, you are subject to full control by environment and other people. But when you act, you can either lead or be led.  If you are led, you resemble lemmings. When they are led by their leader, they do not understand what is happening, and when leader jumps from the rock they follow him and die. It is so-called Lemming Suicide, and when we look in Wikipedia:

Due to their association with this odd behavior, lemming suicide is a frequently-used metaphor in reference to people who go along unquestioningly with popular opinion, with potentially dangerous or fatal consequences. This is the theme of the video game Lemmings, where the player attempts to save the mindlessly marching mammals from walking to their doom.

Picture: A lemming. Do you resemble it?

Proactive people are responsible for their lives, they do not cure the illness, they prevent it. They look in the future and try to mold their lives and actions accordingly. There is a nice saying “I buy sleigh in summer”, and it is a nice description of proactive behavior. Sleighs are extremely cheap in summer as nobody is interested in that. But when winter sets on, the prices double. Here in Ukraine what I see:

- when first snow falls, there are lines of people buying and installing winter tyres;

- when June heat starts, everybody installs air conditioner, and the prices are over the top;

- in winter you can get a lot of money selling electic heaters, the stocks run out of them.

Picture. Reactive people usually stay in long lines, queues because when disadvantageous circumstances arrive, all the reactive people try to extinguish the fires of their disasters. 

So presuming that majority of people are reactive, you can be successful in your business if you are even a little proactive as I show in above examples. But when you are proactive in all the spheres of your life, the life can be changed for the better drastically.

2. Be with Successful People

Who are your friends? Let us see the following picture and try to figure out. Do your friends resemble bums on the left? Or your friends are successful and enthusiastic like Dot Com Mogul John Chow (on the right)?

There is a Russian saying “Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are”, and that is absolutely true. Even though the friends can supplement each other, being completely different personalities, the inner similar character traits attract each other. If one laments about life, how bad it is, and expect others to feel sorry about him, he needs another person to agree with him. Successful people just never find pleasure in lamenting and whining. Even if they listen to the lamenting politely, they give optimistic advice, and change paradigms by their behavior and words.

Success is viral, and if you communicate with successful people, you will find a lot of resources within, and feel that you are capable of proactive life that runs according to your own scenario.

3. Analyze the Root of Your Problems

“The whole world is against me! I am not loved! Why this fate is on me? I am not lucky!” These are the phrases of people who never think that they are the root of their problems. If you have problems that you are unable to solve, you have to change.

The problems cannot be solved on the same level of thinking as it was when they appeared. You cannot expect different results if you make the same efforts, it is madness.

If you have a lung cancer, it is probably because you did not quit smoking when you were told that smoking is carcinogenic. When your wife or your children do not love you, it is usually because you did not give love to them.

I am sure on of the worst thing a mother can do to her children is to ask them for return of her efforts in upraising them. “I did not sleep nights because you cried, I stayed home when you were ill, you ungrateful bastard!”. After these words, is it strange that children do not feel love for their mother? The problem is not in their ungratefulness but in mother’s ignorance and lack of pure love.

When you understand that the root of most direct and indirect problems is within yourself, you feel the responsibilty and capability for action. You and only you can make yourself happy and make other people’s lives around you happier.

4. Take the Initiative. Be Responsible.

That is the difference between an employee and a businessman. The man of business takes care of his business, of his people, of every detail, he faces danger and does never put his head in sand. But the man with high qualification, an engineer or software developer can feel pity to himself whining of small wage or ungratefulness of his superiors.

When you take action, even though it may be the wrong action, it adds to your proactivity. Proactive people make twice more mistakes than common people, and they are much more successful.

5. Concentrate on Your Circle of Influence

The events, circumstances, issues, problems that affect us form so-called Circle of Concern. It can be problems at work, with our family, health, politics, etc.

 If we analyze those problems a little, we can see that we can influence only a small fraction of them, and this forms the second, inner circle, the Circle of Influence.

 The circle of concern takes much of our mental energy, wastes our nervous strength, and ravages our inner peace and balance. So it is just wise to concentrate on what we can influence.

The problems can be divided on three categories:

1) Direct control. That is our own behavior, habits, and the way we react to our environment.

2) Indirect control. The problems with behavior of other people surrounding us. We can influence them by our words and behavior.

3) No control. The problems with national politics, laws, or people that we do not communicate to at all.

 We can expand our circle of influence by proactive behavior. When we concentrate on what can be done, our own actions and deeds, when we achieve personal victory, personal integrity of character, and then gradually move to interpersonal victory, thinking win-win, we can influence other people’s lives, and even the life of the whole nation, as such great people as Stephen Covey proved to be capable of.

The picture is taken from the article below.

The only thing we need to do to do more is being a little more egoist, we need to think on our own problems and we need to do it now. Your circle of influence will grow up and end up changin your circle of influence. Your actions will become example. Your actions, your way of thinking will be followed by those you want to “change”. Or not, but you won’t be stuck with other’s people issues.

Once your circle of influence is big enough, you will gain access to act on those problems. In the mean while, don’t break your head against the wall thinking on what you can do the impossible, but how can you do the possible. 

I found an interesting article about how being an egoist is better for other people than working consciously for them as altruist.

Do not focus on the problem. Focus on the solution. If a problem does not have a solution, it is no longer a problem.

Be egoist = Do more , a nice slogan, it is related to personal victory principle, and you can read about it here.

6. Distinguish Have’s and Be’s

There is a huge difference between have and be.

“I will be happy when my debt is paid off”.

“If only I had a better salary”.

“If only I had another wife, who is more tolerant and loving”.

These are the phrases of people who concentrate on the circle of concern. If you are in the circle of influence, you speak like this:

“I can be more patient”.

“I can be more qualifies”.

“I can be more enthusiastic and responsible, take initiative”.

7. Make Commitments and Keep Commitments.

When you make commitments to yourself and keep them, you integrity becomes more stable and strong. When you make commitments based on the universal principles to other people and keep them, your relationships become stronger, you get more trust and honor, people consider you a leader and are happy to give you more and more, credits that are available only to successful man, a man of honor.

Summary.

To feel more happiness and no pity for yourself, you have to be proactive. For this you get to know what the difference between proactive and reactive is. You cannot be with whining bums and progress in self-esteem and personal development. Seek your friends from successful people with abundance psychology. Never seek the root of your problems in your environment or surrounding people. You and only you are the root of your problems. Become a better man, and your problems will be solved. Concentrate on your circle of influence, and do not care about anything else. When you act wisely and proactively, your circle of influence grows. Distinguish have’s and be’s. In one sense, do not HAVE the position of the boss, of the leader but BE the leader, the man who attracts honor and power by his qualities. Never break your commitments to yourself and to others. Otherwise you will not be trusted by others, and even by yourself, and if you do not have honor for yourself, nobody will have it for you. BE PROACTIVE AND BE HAPPY!

I would like to write down my technics at remembering digits. I use my memory to keep 100+ phone numbers, and my colleagues frequently use me as a phone book. Many years ago as I read a lot of Sanskrit books on Vedic wisdom, I memorized Sanskrit shlokas. It is a challenge to a mind, and I learned by heart more than 500 of them.

Now I want to share my technics of remembering numbers. To experiment, I took my cell phone and wrote down 7 numbers of my contacts starting from ‘A’ letter that I did not know before. Here they are:

• 8-050-334-15-21
• 8-096-726-56-53
• 8-044-536-11-58
• 8-044-406-72-25
• 8-067-403-85-20
• 8-067-460-28-39
• 8-050-632-83-25

I took my watch, and after exactly 12 minutes I wrote those numbers on a separate paper. This time I already wrote them down without reference to the paper or cell phone.

As it may be not so impressing for people who remember 100-200-500 digits of a time (having phenomenal memory - the joke goes at the end of this article), nevertheless most of my friends refer to my ability as outstanding. So let me reveal some secrets and technics.

First Number

Let us start with the first number. It is UMC cell phone operator number starting from (050) code. The key digit here is ‘3′. It begins like this 3, another 3, then a little more - 4. So we have 3-3-(and up)4. Then we need to memorize two more numbers - 15 and 21. These numbers are 3 multiplied by 5 and 3 multiplied by 7. So we go again with the same digit ‘3′ but multiplying it by next simple numbers - 5 and 7. Thus, in my mind the sequence looks like:

‘3′ number from UMC - 3 and 3 and (3+1) then (3*5) then (3*7). First adding 1, then multiplying by next simple numbers 5 and 7.  So 8-050-334-15-21.

Second Number

(096) seems like a new Kyivstar number. They have 067 and 097, and possibly 096, so let us think that this is a little less than (097).

The logics for this number is not straightforward (maybe I could find with a larger time span). But let us think that the key digit is ‘7′, secondary digit is ‘3′. Thus starts the number. After that we have 26. So we take the secondary digit, ‘3′, and raise it to the third power, 3*3*3 = 27. But we remember that initial operator code is a little less than common (097-1=096). So we make it the same (27-1 = 26). Then we start playing with the secondary digit again, at first adding it to the first digit of 26, 2 and 6, (2+3=5) and 6, and at second substracting it from the second digit of the second number… Let me demonsrate you how this appears in my mind:

New Kyivstar Number Primary ‘7′ Secondary ‘3′ 

First part - (097 - 1) 7 (3*3*3 - 1)  making (096) 7 (26)

Second part - (26) is transformed to (56) by adding 3 to the first digit of 26

Third part - (56) is transformed to (53) by substracting 3 from the second digit of 56.

So the number goes 8-096-726-56-53.

Third Number

Easy - Kiev city number - (044). First we have 536 - this number is the same as our office mobile unlimited number. Then we have 11 - two digits of ‘1′, Then we take 36 (last digits of 536) and add 11 two times. 36+11+11 = 58.

Thus we have a very simple Kiev number 536 - 11 - 58. The keys here are ’same as our office number, and 11 two times’.

So the number is 8-044-536-11-58.

Fourth Number

This is again Kiev city number with (044) code. Then we have a rising 2*2 and 2*3 number with ‘0′ in between. Then we have a mountain and cavity digit chain of simple numbers 7 and 5 (descending) with two ‘2′ in between. So we remember 7 (22) 5, down.

So we start with upwards 2 multiplied by 2 and 3 succession with ‘0′ in between, and then 7(22)5 - downwards simple numbers with two ‘2′.

The keys for this Kiev number is 2 increasing, and simple numbers 7 and 5 decreasing, with 0 and 2 in between.

So the number is 8-044-406-72-25.

Fifth Number

This is a Kyivstar number (067), followed by a familiar sequence 403, thus start our another office phone (also Kyivstar), then we have slightly modified Pareto numbers. 80-20 transforms to 85-20 making 105 percent. So we take that 85 percent of useless activity result in 20 percent of income.

So the key for this Kyivstar number is Office phone and Pareto numbers with 5 up for low-effectiveness activity.

So the number is 8-067-403-85-20.

Sixth Number

Kyivstar (067), then goes (2*2), (2*3) and 0.  We already had 406, now we have 460.

Then we take a 3 cubed plus 1, making 28, and add 11 (we already had this number). Thus 39.

There is another way to remember (I have just seen this). 6 and 3 and 2, then 2, then 2 in the 3rd power, then 3, then 3 in the 2nd power.

So - (2*2) -(2*3) - 0 - 2 - (2 in the 3rd power) - 3 - (3 in the 2nd power). The key is Kyivstar with keys ‘2′ and ‘3′ , then 0, then keys in the opposing powers.

So the number is 8-067-460-28-39.

Seventh Number

The UMC number (050). Then we have 6 (3*2) broken into parts 3 and 2. Then we go again to a slightly modified Pareto numbers. They are 83 and 25. The total is 108, a powerful sacred Indian auspicious number. This sequence is similar to what we had with 5th number.

So the keys are UMC number, 6 broken into parts, descending, Pareto numbers with total 108, the last being 5 in the power of 2 (5*5 = 25).

So the number is 8-050-632-83-25.

Of course my explanation can appear far-fetched and difficult to grasp, but that works perfectly well with me. So I suggest following:

- when you hear or read a new number, think about whether you will need it often in the future. Are there any chance that you will utterly need it. Is it worth remembering?

- use images for numbers, or music. It can be the sea, city, forest;

- try to find logic in every number. Some numbers are golden, they are sold for 30-100-1000 USD, and many users of cell phones choose their number, so if they found logic, it should be on the surface. If you are experiences, you can find logic in every number;

- find similarities of numbers to other numbers that you already know;

- percept number as a whole, not as a mere sequence of digits.

Conclusion

I had a friend who assigned each number to a musical note, so he had a tune for each phone number. I prefer little mathematics with multiplying, simple numbers, powers, adding and substracting, up and down. In my head this is like an entity with certain characteristics. Although I can occasionally forget this or that number, they are easily remembered again after refreshing once in a few months. And now goes a joke.

In the circus master of ceremonies announces ”a boy with phenomenal memory”. Then a boy appears and starts to pee on the spectators from the first row. After that he disappears. The audience is puzzled. After a few more performances this boy is announced again. Spectators from the first row start to flee to other, safer places. The master of ceremonies announces “There is no use in sitting in a different place. I announce again. The boy really has a phenomenal memory!”. :-)

Today I read an entertaining article about implementing your ideas. So the gist of the article can be outlined as follows: do not concentrate on planning only waiting for your enthusiasm to go, but just do it!

 Whenever I browse multiple sites with lots of bits of information, I get overwhelmed by ideas how to make this and that, and if the ideas are important enough, I write them down in my notebook, just to leave them there unnoticed for months. Then, when I look through my diaries, I encounter a lot of stuff that I never use. Those ideas become either dead or inspire so little enthusiasm in myself that I really lack any energy to start outlining them and planning.

Thus, I suggest the following approach to new ideas:

1. Figure Out Whether The Idea Corresponds to Your Values and Goals

If it is not important enough or just caters to your present-moment whims, it is likely you will not ever come back to it. In my opinion, when you start anything and promise yourself to complete the task, and then fail doing it, you jeopardize your internal integrity of personality. Look at your idea from larger time frame values. Will it be of importance to you in the future? How will it improve your life or lives of other people?

2. Clearly Outline The Result.

Begin with the end in mind. Imagine how it feels when the work is complete. What do you expect to see in the end? What are your feelings at the outcome? If this is a book, imagine holding it in your hands, how beatiful the cover is. As you turn the pages, you smell pages, feel them. Imaging presenting your book to a friend. How grateful he is after reading it. This gives you enthusiasm to go on and finish your task.

3. Analyze How Much Time, Efforts, Money, Other People’s Work Is Needed To Finish It.

Keep it simple enough. Outline a few basic terms and resources. If this is not a task for one person, think about others who can offer professional help.

4. Start To Work.

I am a quick starter. Even though a little planning and analyzing are crucial for any multiple-step task, I prefer to stick to my inner inspiration and intuition. Make first 3 steps quickly enough to preserve your enthusiasm. Remember that if a bumblebee analyzed its ability to fly from scientific approach, it would never even try to fly.

So - go on with great determination and let all your great ideas succeed!

Today I wrote a few statements that I feel are important to remember in everyday life.

First, I have a successful life. I do not have any reasons to regret anything in my life. There is no place for a pity to myself. I do not have to think over decisions already taken earlier. I am looking forward to the future and take decisions according to universal principles and not emotions.

Money and wealth are not the goals of my life but are means to more independent and creative style of life where I will be able to give out more to other people.

It is important to leave a heritage, either spiritual and material.

There is no way for my relatives and close friends to be regarded lower than my private concerns and financial issues.

I help other people and donate for charity purpose.

I associate with interesting people. I have a quite strong health. I have sound education and great opportunities for study.

 I want to learn:

- to be happier a man whose life is based on universal principles;

- to control my emotions;

- to take more responsibilities and promises to myself and to strictly follow them to reach an integrity of character;

- to progress in spiritual life, to follow the regulative principles of spiritual life;

- to lead an active life;

- to write regularly, to develop my creative gift;

- to read regularly, to read fast, to complete reading books instead of quitting in the middle;

- to plan my life, to set ambitious goals and to reach them;

- to take care of my health, do not procrastinate with health problems;

- to plan financial prosperity;

- to take care about my outward appearance;

- to take care about my car;

- to keep everything in order at home and at office;

- to keep strict daily schedule;

- to have at least 3,000 USD per month for each business idea.

Name: John Chow dot Com - The Miscellaneous Ramblings of a Dot Com Mogul
Title: Make Money Online with John Chow dot Com
URL: http://www.johnchow.com/
My Rating: *****

Short Description:
Make Money Online is an entertaining diary of a prolific enthusiast who is into making money online (calling himself a Dot Com Mogul), fine dining, travel and cars.

Why Is His Blog So Popular
I would say all that is about quality and passion. John is experienced in Internet marketing making a buzz of his projects. His posts are regular, providing intellectual food for his readers (and there are plentiful images of real food, too : ).

Who Is John Chow

We can learn about John from his blog a lot. He likes Chinese food, travels a lot, is fond of cars and works with his very successful tech site The TechZone .

Why Do I Like This Blog
First, I find a lot of useful information on this website. There are a lot of tips and tricks of a practitioner of Internet marketing who supports himself (and does it pretty well!) from his hobby/job. Then, his lifestyle and attitude to other people and their work (as can be seen from his reviews and posts) are appealing. To read his blog is like taking private lessons from an experienced Internet guru (or a Mogul : ) for free.

5 Best Posts

Beginner Blogging Tip http://www.johnchow.com/beginner-blogging-tip/

There are 5 tips that John gives for a beginner:
- pick a topic that you are passionate about
- your content need to be good and to be unique
- do not worry about the money
- build relations with fellow bloggers
- have fun at this

Review Me

If you want to make your site known to a large audience at once, order a review from John. He provides it now for 300 USD via a third party service http://www.reviewme.com .

Buzz about linking back

The idea of exchanging links with other sites, and setting a rule of an anchor text “Make Money Online” is simple and brilliant. It made John Chow dot Com a #1 on Google for Make Money Online! He is offering to link to your blog if you review his blog.

Agloco campaign

Each time John reaches a checkpoint of next 1000 subscribers, he tells about it. Last time he published 11000 mark. The idea of Agloco (earning money by browsing) that John approves of and advertises a lot, will be reviewed separately.

Dining post (pics and costs)

That is a true passion of John. His blog is a nice ground for a cookbook whenever you decide to write about Chinese food. You do not need to fetch any pictures aside from his blog. Then any city guide for Canada will find all the necessary information about restaurants and prices.

4-Level Evaluation

Wisdom - 6 out of 10 - pretty wise this man is, but mostly the site is not about life innermost values
Fun- 6 out of 10 - the videos like topless car washers are not the gist of this blog
Regularity - 9 out of 10 - the updates never stop, even when John travels, there are 3-4 new posts daily
Usefulness - 9 out of 10 - success stories along with practical tips and tricks supported by experience distinguish this site

Minigallery

As yesterday I had a meeting with a friend I hadn’t seen for years, I came home late at night, and today slept till 8 am. My plan for today is to work with my personal values and goals.

As Steve Pavlina tells in his Living Your Values article, his analogy of values is having many planes that aim at their destination, i.e. goals. He stressed that his approach is to set goals, or airports of destinations, first, and afterwards align them with values, opposite to a more wide concept of clarifying one’s values first.

My goals are:

- to live a life in congruence with universal principles, in perfect peace of mind and happiness (too general, of course);

- to become wealthy with multiple streams of passive income (in particular to become a millionare by the age of 40, and now I am 33);

- to lead a social life in an association of people I like and who share my enthusiasm and values;

- to love and to be loved;

- continuous personal development;

- to share my knowledge and skills and to help others achieve their goals in life; 

- to advance spiritually and stick to spiritual practice; 

- to have a healthy body and clear mind.

So my values may be listed as:

Success

Wealth

Social Environment

Love

Personal Growth

Teaching

Spiritual Progress

Health